CAUTION: This story is highly inappropriate, Spanish, and told by one of the funniest people I have met from Granada thus far. He was a substitute professor when I was in level 7. I tried to stay in his class just because he was so funny, but he did not let me...what a shame. This story was told and then the activity was that we had to correct what the incorrect parts of the fairytale were using subjuctive. For those of you who don´t know, subjunctive is where the devil hangs out in the Spanish language. It exists only to torture poor estadounidenses. Impossible, it is not...but it sure makes a fool of me on a daily basis.
Once upon a time there was a girl named Ella, but her father had died and so she had to live with her horrible stepmother and stepsisters who called her Cinderella. They made her clean the house like a slave everyday, and so she was always dirty. Her life was sad, but she accepted her duties. One day, the most amazing thing happened. The whole family was invited to a ball where the prince would choose his wife. She almost cried with happiness. This would be the most fun she had ever had, and no one was stopping her from attending...until her Madrastra (stepmother, an ugly word no?) told her all of the chores she would have to do before attending. An impossible list.
After the horrible women left for the ball, she sat down on the floor and cried, but as her tears hit the floor she heard the tinkling of bells. She looked up and there before her was a fairy.
"Hello, my sweet. I am your fairy godmother. Why are your crying?"
Cinderella said, "I want to go to this ball, but I will never be able to get all these chores done, I have no dress, and I do not even have a way to get there."
In the blink of an eye the house was sparkling, she was in an incredible ball gown, and a pumpkin from the garden had been turned into the most wonderful carriage she had ever seen.
The fairy godmother advised her then, "Now go out and have the time of your life but be sure to return before the clock strike 12 or your...or your...your *cough cough* will turn into a mellon. ¿Entiendes? Do you understand?
"Oh, yes! Fairy godmother, I would never want that to happen so I will be very careful to make it home."
Cinderella then went to the ball, but when she got there she realized the prince had insisted on a dinner instead of a dance. She was seated to his right because he thought she was absolutely the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on. For dinner, it was a traditional Spanish dish, mellon and cheese, which was his favorite.
She watched as he dug in, and as they conversed she lost track of time. His words entranced her, and as he devoured mellon after mellon she realized this man was for her.
After a time, he turned to her and asked, "What time did you say you have to be home?" She looked down in to her lap, and when she looked up again she just replied, "Oh, I don´t know. I guess it is not so important now. Four or five?"
muajaja! Vulgar Granadinos. I guess the joke makes less sense in English, but I thought I would share because I was greatly amused at the time.
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